Talk:Elder Ogre/@comment-24.154.172.13-20160607041021

So I'm sitting here in The Forsaken Cathedral, standing over the corpse of one of these overgrown sloths, just an animation short of pissing on it. And whiile that in and of itself may seem a normal enough affair; here's why:

I actually had quite a bit of trouble with this guy when he randomly spawned in. After quite a lengthy (and extremely fun) battle with an Eliminator back in the Fortress of Remembrance and then a Gorecyclopes almost immediately after in the Tower of Treasons Repaid, I was dead out of Kingwarishes and mushrooms, leaving me only some rancid fish for stamina management and a few Godly Analeptics I had been saving. Oh, and a Wakestone. That's pivotal to the point of this story.

Completely understocked, I know. But I'm nothing if not a stubborn mule that refuses to run away from a fight - or possibly brain-dead - so I commenced battle with three pawns at low health.

Started off promising when I got a Holy Enchantment from my mage and couldn't hurt it at freaking all with Fivefold Flurry. Never wanted to be a Magick Archer more, what with the tiny ass hallway we were in (cause Ricochet Seeker) so I decided it'd be prudent to switch to my Dragon's Dogma (I'm an Assassin, by the by) and start climbing on his face and hoping he wasn't to attached to his eyeballs. Still wasn't doing much damage, but I had some Vims on me so I just downed them and went crazy on him for a bit.

After a while I get tired of losing my ability to attack every time he takes a single step, so I hop off and start Anter Tossing him in the buttocks. Every time he guarded, I'd sit on his back and wait for him to groundpound for a few free hits to the face. All's going well.

Running him back and forth between a small room and a tiny corridor everytime he targeted me (cause my Arisen is female with an all male pawn party) was keeping me alive well enough that I had only used three of my four Analeptics and still had enough fish to max my stamina from zero three or four times, and enough Nightcry to heal the poison. Then it happened.

Six health bars down and four to go (I didn't actually count his Health Bars, but he had three dots left), the bastard went rage mode on me. "Well, shitballs", said I. "Saw that coming a mile away."

Now mind, I am a woman in a party of three men. I was honestly only taking damage from getting caught in the crossfire. And still had to completely restore my health three times. My mage was also constantly healing me. In other words, I had never actually been the sole target of his rampage but a few times.

Yeah, he went rage mode, turned around, and straight up bashed my mage into a the wall, glitching him through the small opening at the bottom of it and down into the depths of hell itself. Instant forfeit.

Then he turns to me, rushes my ass and bats me to the floor, and then hits me once when I'm down. I now have about 150 HP left. And there goes my last Analeptic; my last healing item short of some nuts my Pawns had been picking up from crates.

"To hell with this. I'm out" -Me, 2016. Cause I'm not about to go four health bars on this guy in rage mode with a missing healer.

I start running, spamming the "come" command to get my dying pawns away from him, and move down the hallway the direction I hadn't been yet. Now, this whole fight had taken place in Forsaken Cathedral's fourth floor. Which is a relatively small area. And what do I see as I press on not five inches past where I had already been?

A staircase. And what happens as I tell myself I'm screwed?

Ogre.

This bastard jumps me, knocks me to the ground again, and then picks me up, carries me back to the small room, and takes a huge chunk out of my face. Almost no HP. Again. I run, hoping to God I can get away quick enough.

And as I get back to the staircase, low and behold: dropkicked. Doesn't quite kill me, mind. But then my ragdoll flies over the railing, smacks into a wall, and I drop just enough that I smack into the steps and die.

My last save was made when I repaired a Rift Stone back in the Fortress of Remembrance - before the eliminator.

"Nope." Wakestone and run back up the steps at full speed to get out the way I came in because God knows what the hell else is lurking down there. At which point my Pawns start... sheathing their weapons? And then start spouting Pawn nonsense like "Our strength brought herp a derp derp" and "Strength in herpy derpy derp derp, Arisen".

"No..."

Yes.

Seems the Ogre glitched. And his dropkick slid him through the railing, and down the entire four or so flights worth of steps. All the way to the bottom. And he died.

And now, here I stand. Just a single missing animation short of pissing on the corpse of an Elder Ogre whom I did not kill.

R.I.P. In Pepperonis, Leonard. Your glitched sacrifice was not in vein, and karma was dealt. 10/10, would summon again.